Day 14: Exodus 16–20; Psalms 37–42; Mark 10–12
You know it's interesting to be in the same place as the Hebrews wandering in the wilderness and feeling hungry and thirsty and angry and frustrated and afraid. They grumble against their leadership. They cry out against Moses even though they are free for the first time in their lives! Truth is they don't know how to live free. Slavery feels familiar and comfortable.
My readings yesterday were rushed, something I don't like to do. But even then there were moments of miraculous bread to feed my soul in the midst of the desert of my day. I love the Psalms. I almost always find words for my heart in them. There is always something that the psalmist writes that speaks for my heart, giving my heart freedom in finding expression that otherwise it would struggle to share. And almost always there is something for my heart in the Psalms answering deep needs I didn't even know I had.
The sons of Korah (Ex. 6:21) wrote:
As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, my God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. (Psa. 42:1-2a)
Bits of truth and wisdom satisfy my heart. When I grumble against life's challenges as it comes, I am like the transgressor in Psalm 36:2, "in his own eyes he flatters himself [too much] to discover and hate his sin." I repent of my complaint and find myself wanting to be right in my heart before the God of all creation, learning to be happy with my many blessings. Psa. 37:16, "Better the little that the righteous man has than the abundance of many wicked people."
I even find in this succession of prayers of God's people the appropriate words to confess my grumbling heart's sin and seek restoration through the mercies of my God.
LORD, do not withhold Your compassion from me;
Your constant love and truth will always guard me.
For troubles without number have surrounded me;
my sins have overtaken me; I am unable to see.
They are more than the hairs of my head,
and my courage leaves me.
LORD, be pleased to deliver me;
hurry to help me, LORD. (Psa. 40:11-13)
The grumblers are fed and watered and lead to the mountain of God and given the Law. Indeed words that mediated through Moses feeds the hungry and thirsty soul and gives an identity to a people who don't know how to live in the freedom God gives.
And we still need teaching...Jesus met a rich young Hebrew ruler who kept the Law from his youth. But it is the outward law he has kept. There is an inward dimension to God's commands. It is about our worship and honor of created things rather than the creator (Rom. 1:25). God says have no other gods before me. The rich man loved his wealth more than God. Jesus' challenge to him was to sell all his possessions, give them to the poor, and follow Jesus. He could not do it. And he was saddened as he walked away.
Do I thirst for God and hunger for Him more than these things?
O Lord, preserve me and keep me coming to the fount of every blessing, Jesus Christ, my Lord! Amen.
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